I'm going to hell.
Today I lost my temper and did something pretty bad. But if I had the chance to go back and change it... I wouldn't. That's how I know I'm going to hell.
My mother's brother lives with us for free.
I wouldn't have a problem with this except he's made a career of this. To my knowledge he's never owned his own place and has spent his entire life moving from one relatives house to another. He may pay rent at first but eventually he ends up screwing them out of a lot of rent and utility money. Then he moves on to the next relatives house and the process starts over again.
He has lived with us before so when Amoo brought it up my first response was, "Not only no, but hell no."
But Amoo knows how to work me and I let her do it because she was worried about her brother.
He had no money, and not even a bed to sleep on, so Amoo built him a room in our basement and even found a way to give him a bed.
This is one of the reasons why I'm sure my mommy is going to heaven.
He promised when he moved in that he would find a job and pay her rent. I can't remember how long it was but after a while of him sitting in that room all day doing nothing Amoo got on his ass about getting out and looking for a job.
One day while looking for said job he had a heart attack, or something, and was taken to the hospital.
He ended up in the intensive care unit and had open heart surgery. Amoo felt horrible. She felt as though pushing him to get a job had caused him to risk his health.
While in the ICU Emma told him, and us, that he could come live with her when he was healthy enough to leave.
Then, when the time came she started making excuses.
"Oh, I never said that."
"No, I said I would try talking to Deb about it."
"Oh, you must have misunderstood me."
Even I'm not that cruel to promise a man on his deathbed a place to stay and when it looks like he'll live take it away. That's just forking wrong.
So, obviously, he had to come back here.
It's been months since his surgery, and while he was very sick for a while, I think he's recovered enough to function.
I certainly do not expect him to get a job. But his doctors have said he's disabled now so he should be getting some kind of social security or something.
A while ago I cleaned out our voicemail from our home phone and at least six of the messages were from his doctor's office telling him that his disability form was ready and was he coming to pick it up? If he were less lazy he would get up and get the ball rolling on this social security or disability bull snit.
He pays nothing toward rent, power, phone, internet, television, water, gas, car insurance, or any resources he uses in our house. And for some weird reason, he just expects us to be happy with this situation. The only thing he pays for is his food and that's only because Amoo had to hound him every day to go get food stamps.
We have two other roommates and we charge them rent. How is that fair? They have to pay to live here but he doesn't. Why? Is he special or something?
He's not a very nice person to live with either. He listens in on all of our conversations because he's paranoid that we are plotting against him. As long as I've known him he's been paranoid like that. It's some kind of mental illness he has.
I do not like being uncomfortable in my own house. I do not want people listening in to my conversations and his paranoia is rubbing off on the rest of the house.
Everyone is suspicious of everyone else now and it's making us all unhappy.
I don't do unhappy in my home. It's the ultimate place of comfort and I work hard to keep it a safe haven for myself and my family.
Today he was late getting home from his medical whatever thingie.
This wouldn't be a problem except that Phoenix has a bad cough, it's like 40 degrees outside, and he had our car so I had to walk to pick up the boys from school.
When I got back I was furious. This is not the first time he's been out in my car and hasn't come back in time for me to use it. The only reason why he gets to use the thing is because of his heart.
I wrote him a note that went like this...
Saying you're sorry that we had to walk home isn't cutting it. I don't care if your clinic is on fire, you must be home on time. If you can't manage that then you will not be allowed to use the car.
Emma said something to Amoo while you were in the hospital. She said, "Robert doesn't have any money to give you for rent. He's never going to have the money and you're just going to have to understand that."
Amoo and I do not have the money to support you. We will never have the money and you're just going to have to understand that.
You have until the last day of school, May 29th 2011, to have $300 rent money or another place to live. After that you will be expected to give Amoo $300 per month if you want to continue living here.
Get up off your ass during the day and get your shit in a pile. (Or something like that, I can't remember the exact wording I used.)
This deadline is not from Amoo, it's from me, but is still valid. I will not allow you to leach off my mother any longer.
You should be ashamed of yourself. If you weren't such a bastard to everyone around you, you would have a place to go.
MAY 29TH 2011
If you do not have rent or are not moving out then on the 30th I will call the police and have you thrown out.
I could have been a little nicer, but I was pissed off. And giving it to him made me feel better.
I called Amoo to give her a heads up so that when he blew up at her she would know what the eff was going on. I told her I was sorry for creating a headache for her, but that it needed to be done.
I told her that if she didn't want to deal with it she could just tell him to talk to me about it, but we both knew he wouldn't.
My only fear was that he would think Amoo was trying to kick him out guilt free by hiding behind me. The truth is that my mommy is too nice for that.
She would let him live here forever if she had her way. She loves her family and feels an obligation to help them however she can.
But the facts are working against us.
She took a pay cut at work and now makes less than a McDonald's worker.
Our power bill is $750.00
And we are having a really hard time keeping up with all these bills.
I will not allow my family to suffer because Amoo's brother is incapable of taking care of himself. We couldn't afford to take care of him before he moved in and now we are so deep in the crappy river of debt that I don't know if we can make it out.
He doesn't see a problem with this. For some reason he thinks everyone on the planet exists to take care of his every need.
How can someone live like that?
I'm kind of a selfish person and can't imagine having all my comforts taken away just because I don't feel like getting up and going to work.
It's taken quite a while but I do have a work ethic now. The ethic is this: I go to work no matter what.
Do I want to? No. But I do it because I love money and all the things I can buy with it.
He loves money and all the things you can buy with it but he's not willing to put any effort into getting any.
It's sad really.
I do feel sorry for him, but this is the second time we've had to live with him and his poor pitiful me act gets old after the first year or so.
I'm not buying it anymore. And now that he's actually sick, he doesn't have anyone to turn to because he's never helped anyone out the way everyone helps him. And when they help him he makes it seem like he's doing them a favor by gracing them with his presence. He feels entitled to a place to live in your house and you should just sit there a feel flattered or something.
I really don't get it.
I'm a spiteful woman who is so resentful that she's throwing out her uncle only months after he's had open heart surgery. (Well, he's got another six months.)
I'm going to hell.
But I'm still glad I did it.