Things You Thought You Would NEVER Say...

Kale! If you eat another of your shirts I'm going to make you go without clothing.

Aug 26, 2011

And you think you've had a wierd day?

My day actually started yesterday.
My mom's dog Shimalfinne, (say it with me now SHIM-ALL-FINN-EE), has been loosing hair and we were afraid she had something really bad so I had to take her to the vet.
The thing you have to understand about Shimal is that when we got her she had wounds around her neck and ever since she's never, ever, NEVER been able to be on a collar or leash. So I had to corner her and lay on her to get the harness and leash on. The thing is, when you put that on her she goes into this defensive, almost catatonic state where she won't get up or move at all.
So I got to carry her up the stairs and to the car. Then from the car to the vet's office and from the waiting area to the scale. She weighs 69.7 pounds in case you were wondering. Turns out she has allergies. I didn't know dogs could get that. We're giving her the steroids and antibiotics the doctor prescribed and she's already scratching less.
Today I had to get the alignment on the car fixed so as soon as I dropped the kids off at school I went to Elroy's. Bobby, the owner, is Xandra's grandpa so I knew he would do it right without screwing us. He said I had to leave the car there until 3 pm so I decided to take the bus to downtown and go window shopping.
I had barely gone two blocks when people started asking me for cigarettes, food and money. I was polite when I told them no. The only money I had was for bus fare and to pay for the alignment. Then this one man asked me for a cigarette. I told him sorry, but I don't smoke. He didn't believe me so he started following me and talking me to death. He said he knew I had some smokes and it was rude of me not to share. After about the sixth time of telling him no he started yelling at me. He cursed and ranted and called me every foul word he knew. When he finally turned around to walk away from me he yelled, Why don't you go run home to your daddy you spoiled (B-word).
I wanted to yell at him that my father was dead, plus some choice insults and curses, but he was finally leaving and I didn't want to start him up again.
I got on a bus and rode it to the 16th street mall. I have to say that the beggars in downtown Denver are a lot nicer than the one's in Lakewood.
I wanted to go to Amoo's work and I had about 20 minutes until the bus came so I went to Starbucks and blew $6 on pumpkin bread and a caramel frappucino. I was having a crappy day and I felt I deserved a treat.
While eating I saw Albus Dumbledore walking down the sidewalk outside the coffee shop. I'm not kidding. There was a man wearing purple robes and a purple pointed wizard's hat. He had a long, white beard and had a knotted walking stick as tall as he was. He stopped at each little tree planted in the sidewalk and poured bread crumbs on the ground for the pigeons and other birds.
It was awesome. I needed the humor after the trying morning I'd had.
I rode the bus to Amoo's work and did some filing until 1:30 when Amoo's co-worker, Lyle took me back to Elroy's. He had to take the checks to the company bank anyway and it was pretty close.
I got the car from Bobby and went to pick up the boys from school. Traffic sucked donkey dong so it was a close thing. I had to go strait from there to pick up Amoo from work.
I'm home now AT LAST and I've had a shower and now I'm gonna be so lazy.
It's gonna rock!


Jun 16, 2011

Distraction News

Okay, okay...

So I've been neglecting my blogspot a little... well a lot.

The problem is that when the kids are home they stand over me every time I get onto the computer and rapid fire questions and comments at me until I get off said computer out of pure irritation.

Example: Right now Kale is standing to my right telling me about how awesome Minecraft is while Phoenix, left, is reading everything I'm typing.

Not distracting at all, really.

The kids are out of school now and I find myself extremely occupied every day. They want constant entertainment but I'm just used to being alone all day, so it's a change to have Kale attached to me 24/7 and Phoenix going more than 10 minutes without complaining about having to do homework.

Before school ended I went on two field trips. Phoenix's class went downtown to see all the historical stuff and Kale's class went to the aquarium. Thanks to the camera Tobi, technological guru and bringer of everything wonderful, gave me I took many, many, MANY pictures.

The Molly Brown house was awesome and my pictures of jellyfish turned out great.

Kale in the background: How much more longer till you're done? I want to play Minecraft!

Phoenix in the background: I called the computer first!

(Not distracting at all.)


Phoenix earned his bobcat badge in scouts and he's going to day camp starting the 20th. He's really excited.

Kale has actually made some progress with his anxieties and his psychologist is encouraged by his attitude.

Phoenix: Can I say that I'm bored while waiting for you to get off the computer?

Me: Only if you want to clean.

Kale: Can he clean my room?

(Nope, still not distracting.)

Yesterday I took the kids to work with me.

I have no idea what the hell I was thinking so don't ask.

While I was cleaning the upstairs Phoenix got into Amoo's desk and found her lighter. She called me this morning to inform me that he burned part of her desk. I gave him the talk about playing with fire, which made him cry, which made me feel like a monster for being mean to my son.

I think he won't do it again, he was really sorry and scared. Especially when I told him how Josh's twin sisters burned their whole house down at the age of 14 because they were playing with matches.

Kale followed me around the building trying to hack into every computer in the place, which is a lot, so I finally sent him downstairs to wait for me.

Big mistake.

When I came down Phoenix and Kale had scratches and bruises all over themselves because they had gotten into an argument and decided the best way to resolve said argument was utilizing the ancient and manly art of fisticuffs.

I'm telling you... It's hard to reprimand your kids when they are saying things like, "Phoenix sat on my face and farted," or "Kale scratched me inside my nostril."

Then they got into another fist fight while telling me how their brother had slighted their honor. While breaking up that second fight I burst into laughter and ruined the stern Mommy face.

Kale: Britt?

Me: What?

Kale: Are you done yet?

Phoenix: Does she look done to you?

Kale: Shut up!

Phoenix: No, you shut up!

Kale: Britt! Phoenix is annoying me... on purpose!

(I'm not distracted, I swear.)

I shall leave you now with these tantalizing words of wisdom.




Oct 25, 2010

In a handbasket

I'm going to hell.
Today I lost my temper and did something pretty bad. But if I had the chance to go back and change it... I wouldn't. That's how I know I'm going to hell.
My mother's brother lives with us for free.
I wouldn't have a problem with this except he's made a career of this. To my knowledge he's never owned his own place and has spent his entire life moving from one relatives house to another. He may pay rent at first but eventually he ends up screwing them out of a lot of rent and utility money. Then he moves on to the next relatives house and the process starts over again.
He has lived with us before so when Amoo brought it up my first response was, "Not only no, but hell no."
But Amoo knows how to work me and I let her do it because she was worried about her brother.
He had no money, and not even a bed to sleep on, so Amoo built him a room in our basement and even found a way to give him a bed.
This is one of the reasons why I'm sure my mommy is going to heaven.
He promised when he moved in that he would find a job and pay her rent. I can't remember how long it was but after a while of him sitting in that room all day doing nothing Amoo got on his ass about getting out and looking for a job.
One day while looking for said job he had a heart attack, or something, and was taken to the hospital.
He ended up in the intensive care unit and had open heart surgery. Amoo felt horrible. She felt as though pushing him to get a job had caused him to risk his health.
While in the ICU Emma told him, and us, that he could come live with her when he was healthy enough to leave.
Then, when the time came she started making excuses.
"Oh, I never said that."
"No, I said I would try talking to Deb about it."
"Oh, you must have misunderstood me."
Even I'm not that cruel to promise a man on his deathbed a place to stay and when it looks like he'll live take it away. That's just forking wrong.
So, obviously, he had to come back here.
It's been months since his surgery, and while he was very sick for a while, I think he's recovered enough to function.
I certainly do not expect him to get a job. But his doctors have said he's disabled now so he should be getting some kind of social security or something.
A while ago I cleaned out our voicemail from our home phone and at least six of the messages were from his doctor's office telling him that his disability form was ready and was he coming to pick it up? If he were less lazy he would get up and get the ball rolling on this social security or disability bull snit.
He pays nothing toward rent, power, phone, internet, television, water, gas, car insurance, or any resources he uses in our house. And for some weird reason, he just expects us to be happy with this situation. The only thing he pays for is his food and that's only because Amoo had to hound him every day to go get food stamps.
We have two other roommates and we charge them rent. How is that fair? They have to pay to live here but he doesn't. Why? Is he special or something?
He's not a very nice person to live with either. He listens in on all of our conversations because he's paranoid that we are plotting against him. As long as I've known him he's been paranoid like that. It's some kind of mental illness he has.
I do not like being uncomfortable in my own house. I do not want people listening in to my conversations and his paranoia is rubbing off on the rest of the house.
Everyone is suspicious of everyone else now and it's making us all unhappy.
I don't do unhappy in my home. It's the ultimate place of comfort and I work hard to keep it a safe haven for myself and my family.
Today he was late getting home from his medical whatever thingie.
This wouldn't be a problem except that Phoenix has a bad cough, it's like 40 degrees outside, and he had our car so I had to walk to pick up the boys from school.
When I got back I was furious. This is not the first time he's been out in my car and hasn't come back in time for me to use it. The only reason why he gets to use the thing is because of his heart.
I wrote him a note that went like this...
Saying you're sorry that we had to walk home isn't cutting it. I don't care if your clinic is on fire, you must be home on time. If you can't manage that then you will not be allowed to use the car.
Emma said something to Amoo while you were in the hospital. She said, "Robert doesn't have any money to give you for rent. He's never going to have the money and you're just going to have to understand that."
Amoo and I do not have the money to support you. We will never have the money and you're just going to have to understand that.
You have until the last day of school, May 29th 2011, to have $300 rent money or another place to live. After that you will be expected to give Amoo $300 per month if you want to continue living here.
Get up off your ass during the day and get your shit in a pile. (Or something like that, I can't remember the exact wording I used.)
This deadline is not from Amoo, it's from me, but is still valid. I will not allow you to leach off my mother any longer.
You should be ashamed of yourself. If you weren't such a bastard to everyone around you, you would have a place to go.
MAY 29TH 2011
If you do not have rent or are not moving out then on the 30th I will call the police and have you thrown out.
I could have been a little nicer, but I was pissed off. And giving it to him made me feel better.
I called Amoo to give her a heads up so that when he blew up at her she would know what the eff was going on. I told her I was sorry for creating a headache for her, but that it needed to be done.
I told her that if she didn't want to deal with it she could just tell him to talk to me about it, but we both knew he wouldn't.
My only fear was that he would think Amoo was trying to kick him out guilt free by hiding behind me. The truth is that my mommy is too nice for that.
She would let him live here forever if she had her way. She loves her family and feels an obligation to help them however she can.
But the facts are working against us.
She took a pay cut at work and now makes less than a McDonald's worker.
Our power bill is $750.00
And we are having a really hard time keeping up with all these bills.
I will not allow my family to suffer because Amoo's brother is incapable of taking care of himself. We couldn't afford to take care of him before he moved in and now we are so deep in the crappy river of debt that I don't know if we can make it out.
He doesn't see a problem with this. For some reason he thinks everyone on the planet exists to take care of his every need.
How can someone live like that?
I'm kind of a selfish person and can't imagine having all my comforts taken away just because I don't feel like getting up and going to work.
It's taken quite a while but I do have a work ethic now. The ethic is this: I go to work no matter what.
Do I want to? No. But I do it because I love money and all the things I can buy with it.
He loves money and all the things you can buy with it but he's not willing to put any effort into getting any.
It's sad really.
I do feel sorry for him, but this is the second time we've had to live with him and his poor pitiful me act gets old after the first year or so.
I'm not buying it anymore. And now that he's actually sick, he doesn't have anyone to turn to because he's never helped anyone out the way everyone helps him. And when they help him he makes it seem like he's doing them a favor by gracing them with his presence. He feels entitled to a place to live in your house and you should just sit there a feel flattered or something.
I really don't get it.
I'm a spiteful woman who is so resentful that she's throwing out her uncle only months after he's had open heart surgery. (Well, he's got another six months.)
I'm going to hell.
But I'm still glad I did it.