So... yesterday after the kids got off school we piled in the car and headed out to my cousin Ame's house for her daughter Apryl's birthday party.
I got lost a couple times but really, did you expect anything else from me? We got there at about 5:20... 20 minutes after the party was supposed to start. Apryl answered the door and seemed properly excited to see us.
Without thinking I just walked into her house, a place I've never been before, without asking and sat my happy ass down on her couch. Kale, of course, made himself comfy on the floor with his markers and coloring book while Phoenix started salivating over their video game collection.
Bill, Ame's husband was looking at me like I had just grown a second head, but having purple hair and tattoos all over my arms sometimes causes that and I'm used to it.
After chatting for a couple minutes I asked where Ame was and Apryl told me she was at the store getting cupcakes.
Then I asked if we were too early because no one else was there. Bill said, "For what?"
And I said, "For the birthday party."
Apryl said, "What did my mom tell you? The party isn't until Saturday."
Yes, I was hearing the sound of a braying jackass in the back of my head as I explained that I had thought it was on Thursday not Saturday. Phoenix used their bathroom and we beat a hasty retreat after giving Apryl her gift.
I could have waited around for Ame to get back but I was so embarrassed that I basically ran out of there with my tail tucked between my legs.
I am a dumb ass.
Then I got lost on the highway on the way back to our house and I ended up going way too far and landing in commerce city where Amoo works.
And I repeat, I AM A DUMB ASS!
So yeah... I'm retarded and I can't even read a simple birthday invitation.
Wow! I need some chocolate now.