I forgot to tell everyone about the RABID ZOMBIE SQUIRRELS!
The last time I went to work I opened the cupboard with my cleaning supplies and started getting everything out and ready. I heard a scratching, scrabbling sound behind me. I armed myself with a spray bottle of Windex in one hand and bleach in the other. I mean, they're supposed to be toxic if you mix them right? I looked in the trash can that's just outside the break room door and a squirrel jumped right up into my face.
It didn't touch me but I still let out the girliest, highest pitched squeal ever to pass my lips. It was so loud I could still hear it reverberating off the shop walls several seconds later.
My scream must have scared the crap out of the thing because there was a little wet puddle with tiny paw prints leading away from me and into the shop.
Later on I opened the bay doors, they're like giant garage doors, to take out the trash and I'll be damned if the thing didn't jump out at me again. It escaped into the night and I got another shot of adrenalin while the RTD bus drivers next door gawked at the woman who shrieked like a little girl who'd just seen the boogie man.
On Monday Amoo told me that Lyle, her co-worker, saw the same squirrel on Friday night while he was locking the back door. He said it even jumped right at him too. We think it was locked in the shop the whole weekend and was trying to get back to it's little squirrel family when it jumped at me to get outside.
I think it was either rabid or a zombie, or maybe both!
Dun, dun, duh!!!!!!!!!
So if you see a squirrel with suspiciously red glowing eyes and a foaming mouth, beware! It could be a RABID ZOMBIE SQUIRREL!!!