Things You Thought You Would NEVER Say...

Kale! If you eat another of your shirts I'm going to make you go without clothing.

Aug 19, 2009

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

Today I dropped both my son's off for their first day of school. Oh yeah... un hun... do the happy dance. Now, with the evil ones out of the way, I actually have a clear path to the computer that isn't obstructed by one son wanting to watch 'Wolverine' and another who wants to sing the 'Anabore' cartoon network song to the YouTube video.
It's been so long since I got to play freely on the Internet that I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Like eating ice cream for breakfast, you know it's wrong but it feels so right!
Phoenix took to school like I expected. He was a little nervous with the new teacher and classroom but he's had two years of experience with this school stuff so he handled it rather well. The only reason I knew he was upset at all was because he kept wrapping my arms around him while we waited in line with the rest of his class. Phoenix has recently learned, probably from Dakota, that public displays of affection make you a wuss.
After I saw him off with his class I took Kale to the auditorium where all the preschoolers, now called ECE students, are to meet every morning. At first he seemed alright. There were lots of other kids and parents loitering around waiting for the teachers to take the kids to their classrooms. When it was our turn to leave with the teacher Kale turns to me and says, "Okay, lets go home now."
I thought, at the time, that honesty would be the best way to handle the situation. So I told him that he had to stay with his teacher and I had to go home after I saw his classroom. He gave me a look that clearly said, You just ripped out my heart and NOW you're stomping on it?
He cried the whole way to the room. But hey, at least he wasn't screaming and running in the other direction like when I try dropping him off at his grandma's house.
I had a moment of pure motherly pride when I told him to hang his backpack on the hook with his name and he went strait to the correct one and hung it up.
That's my boy!
Last year at Phoenix's school Kale saw that his brother got to sit on a carpet with different colors at the beginning and end of class. He was so thrilled that he got to sit on the special carpet too that he stopped crying.
When the teacher started asking everyone their names Kale had a minor meltdown. See, even though I registered him under the correct last name they had his last name as what it was before we got it changed to his dad's last name. So when he wouldn't tell her his name I had to tell her it was Kale. Unfortunately she had this name tag with his old last name on it. I could almost hear him yelling in his mind, Up with this shit I will not put! Kale may not know how to spell his last name yet but he sure knows it doesn't start with an E. He wouldn't let her put the name tag on him until she changed his last name.
Could he be a little higher maintenance?
Yes, yes he could.
While the teacher was handing out the name tags and saying good morning to the rest of the class and parents the principal came in to interrupt. He said a speech about all the new things the school acquired and the new teachers and the changes about where the kids would be dropped off and picked up. Then he said that a lot of people in Colorado consider Montbello to have the worst public schools in Denver county, which he said was completely untrue. Sure, having pride in the school you run is important but for a second there I was worried he was going to be struck by lightning for lying about how good this school was.
Wait... why am I sending my kids to this school if it's so crappy? I tried going somewhere else last year with Phoenix, got the t-shirt, never doing it again. And a crappy school close to home is better than a nice school far away.
Anyway, the principal was going on about how the kids would learn more this year than any students in the previous years. He's obviously trying to hold on to his job. He said the preschoolers would have to read and write their names, something Phoenix learned to do in kindergarten, learn all the ABC's and be able to count and write the numbers from one to one hundred.
Kale must have been the only child listening, or maybe he just understood a little better, because when he heard what he was expected to learn his head snapped in the Principal's direction and he practically yelled out, "What? That's not fair. It's too hard!" Well, we all know Kale has never been quiet about his opinions. After the adults laughed at how funny he was Kale looked at the principal like he wished he could shoot lasers out of his eyes at the man.
When the man left the teacher finished handing out name tags and told the students that she wanted to show them the bathroom and to line up. She also said it was time for the parents to go home. Kale looked at the lady like she had lost her damned mind and said, "I don't like you!" I had to pull him away for a moment to tell him it was not nice to talk to his teacher that way and to never do it again.
Then he started begging. Oh, I felt like such a heel when he said, "Britt, you're leaving me with a stranger?"
I remember thinking to myself, Why doesn't he just stab me in the chest? It would hurt less.
After a little discussion I put him in line with the other kids and told him if he wasn't good he would have to clean his room when he got home. One of the other parents thought it was very funny when he said, "No! Don't make me clean!"
I left him walking down the hall with the rest of his class while he cried for me not to go. Turn the knife!
So, now I actually have time on my hands. I think I'll take a nap.


Mammallama said...

Evil evil heart ripping outing beech.
Get up off my bed and CLEAN.
Your kids are made of steel and they can take school.

Tobi said...

Kale has manipulation down to a fine art. He knows how to work that guilt to get what he wants!! I hope he adjusts to school.

Sarah said...

Ahhh, school days. I can't wait until Ian starts! That will be the quietest day this year. Justin is WAY calmer when ian's at school.