Things You Thought You Would NEVER Say...

Kale! If you eat another of your shirts I'm going to make you go without clothing.

Sep 28, 2008

Through the Fire and Flames

I have survived the 6th birthday of my oldest son Phoenix. It was an adventure and Amoo and I should get some kind of award for patience.

It all started last night. Kale was at his grandmas house for the day and Phoenix was bored. I consider it bad form to punish a child so close to a day that's supposed to be all for him, so I swallowed my anger at his behavior as best I could. Eventually, after the third or fourth hour of his whining about being bored, Amoo snapped and said if he didn't stop she was going to have to make him clean, or take a nap.

He just wouldn't shut up.

We wanted to take him to a movie to make up for the lack of entertainment his brother normally provides, but there wasn't anything good playing. Igor was but it had just started when I looked, and the next showing didn't start until well after 8 pm. The only other movie he would have been interested in was Batman, but it's rated PG-13 and I wasn't sure if it would give him nightmares or not.

We settled for a run to the store and rented movies from the Red Box. He picked out some Sonic X cartoon and I got Speed Racer and The Forbidden Kingdom. He loved all three.

When we got home I made him an arrangement of treats as though we were in a theatre. Unfortunately he ate the Almond Joy and fruit snacks before I could snap a picture of our LOAD.

Surprisingly he did not make himself sick.
The above mentioned load consisted of two kinds of potato chips, popcorn, rainbow Twizlers, Kit Kats, Almond Joys and fruit snacks. Oh and we had three kinds of soda. I drank water. I probably would have gone into a sugar coma had I went with the soda.
I had to go to work last night at 9 so Amoo stayed with him and they watched The Forbidden Kingdom. When I got home, at 1 am, he was passed out in her bed. They were both sideways and Phoenix took up 2/3 of the bed while she was huddled up at the foot of it like an obedient pet or something.
At work I had to wax the floors and because of the 2+ years of neglect they've suffered you have to do it the old fashioned way or it ends up looking like you wiped your nose on the tile. So after spending over an hour scrubbing floors I got to come home and carry my 68 pound son down to his bed. The toys littering the stairs added a bit of blind terror to an already dangerous adventure.


Today when Amoo got home from church we lit the candles and sang him Hippo Birdie You You. Mom had the idea to make strawberry short cakes instead of traditional cake, and it was bloody brilliant! He loved it, and almost made himself sick on it.

So, at last count, these are the presents he got:

Indiana Jones Lego for the Wii

The Internet

Ten dollars

Three pots of play dough

A couple books

A Star Wars Clone Wars shirt and a Star Wars Force Unleashed shirt

and last but not least...

A Belly Ache!

I mean, what kids birthday would be complete if they didn't get sick from all the goodies they eat? It's just not right. Besides, I never would have learned to moderate my intake of junk foods if Mom never let me do the same. It teaches you.

Gotta go...



Tobi said...

He needs a pirate shirt that says give me all your BOOTY!! I love the candles. Where did you get those?

Mammallama said...

He needs a good butt kicking. I forgot about the red marker in the living room.

Tobi said...

BD I love the changes to your blog. It's so spooktacular! Also I love the picture of Fablehaven on your main page. AWESOME MAN! YOUR LIKE A GENIUS AND STUFF!!