I'm going to hell.
Today I lost my temper and did something pretty bad. But if I had the chance to go back and change it... I wouldn't. That's how I know I'm going to hell.
My mother's brother lives with us for free.
I wouldn't have a problem with this except he's made a career of this. To my knowledge he's never owned his own place and has spent his entire life moving from one relatives house to another. He may pay rent at first but eventually he ends up screwing them out of a lot of rent and utility money. Then he moves on to the next relatives house and the process starts over again.
He has lived with us before so when Amoo brought it up my first response was, "Not only no, but hell no."
But Amoo knows how to work me and I let her do it because she was worried about her brother.
He had no money, and not even a bed to sleep on, so Amoo built him a room in our basement and even found a way to give him a bed.
This is one of the reasons why I'm sure my mommy is going to heaven.
He promised when he moved in that he would find a job and pay her rent. I can't remember how long it was but after a while of him sitting in that room all day doing nothing Amoo got on his ass about getting out and looking for a job.
One day while looking for said job he had a heart attack, or something, and was taken to the hospital.
He ended up in the intensive care unit and had open heart surgery. Amoo felt horrible. She felt as though pushing him to get a job had caused him to risk his health.
While in the ICU Emma told him, and us, that he could come live with her when he was healthy enough to leave.
Then, when the time came she started making excuses.
"Oh, I never said that."
"No, I said I would try talking to Deb about it."
"Oh, you must have misunderstood me."
Even I'm not that cruel to promise a man on his deathbed a place to stay and when it looks like he'll live take it away. That's just forking wrong.
So, obviously, he had to come back here.
It's been months since his surgery, and while he was very sick for a while, I think he's recovered enough to function.
I certainly do not expect him to get a job. But his doctors have said he's disabled now so he should be getting some kind of social security or something.
A while ago I cleaned out our voicemail from our home phone and at least six of the messages were from his doctor's office telling him that his disability form was ready and was he coming to pick it up? If he were less lazy he would get up and get the ball rolling on this social security or disability bull snit.
He pays nothing toward rent, power, phone, internet, television, water, gas, car insurance, or any resources he uses in our house. And for some weird reason, he just expects us to be happy with this situation. The only thing he pays for is his food and that's only because Amoo had to hound him every day to go get food stamps.
We have two other roommates and we charge them rent. How is that fair? They have to pay to live here but he doesn't. Why? Is he special or something?
He's not a very nice person to live with either. He listens in on all of our conversations because he's paranoid that we are plotting against him. As long as I've known him he's been paranoid like that. It's some kind of mental illness he has.
I do not like being uncomfortable in my own house. I do not want people listening in to my conversations and his paranoia is rubbing off on the rest of the house.
Everyone is suspicious of everyone else now and it's making us all unhappy.
I don't do unhappy in my home. It's the ultimate place of comfort and I work hard to keep it a safe haven for myself and my family.
Anywho...
Today he was late getting home from his medical whatever thingie.
This wouldn't be a problem except that Phoenix has a bad cough, it's like 40 degrees outside, and he had our car so I had to walk to pick up the boys from school.
When I got back I was furious. This is not the first time he's been out in my car and hasn't come back in time for me to use it. The only reason why he gets to use the thing is because of his heart.
I wrote him a note that went like this...
((Robert,
Saying you're sorry that we had to walk home isn't cutting it. I don't care if your clinic is on fire, you must be home on time. If you can't manage that then you will not be allowed to use the car.
Emma said something to Amoo while you were in the hospital. She said, "Robert doesn't have any money to give you for rent. He's never going to have the money and you're just going to have to understand that."
Amoo and I do not have the money to support you. We will never have the money and you're just going to have to understand that.
You have until the last day of school, May 29th 2011, to have $300 rent money or another place to live. After that you will be expected to give Amoo $300 per month if you want to continue living here.
Get up off your ass during the day and get your shit in a pile. (Or something like that, I can't remember the exact wording I used.)
This deadline is not from Amoo, it's from me, but is still valid. I will not allow you to leach off my mother any longer.
You should be ashamed of yourself. If you weren't such a bastard to everyone around you, you would have a place to go.
MAY 29TH 2011
If you do not have rent or are not moving out then on the 30th I will call the police and have you thrown out.
Brittany))
I could have been a little nicer, but I was pissed off. And giving it to him made me feel better.
I called Amoo to give her a heads up so that when he blew up at her she would know what the eff was going on. I told her I was sorry for creating a headache for her, but that it needed to be done.
I told her that if she didn't want to deal with it she could just tell him to talk to me about it, but we both knew he wouldn't.
My only fear was that he would think Amoo was trying to kick him out guilt free by hiding behind me. The truth is that my mommy is too nice for that.
She would let him live here forever if she had her way. She loves her family and feels an obligation to help them however she can.
But the facts are working against us.
She took a pay cut at work and now makes less than a McDonald's worker.
Our power bill is $750.00
And we are having a really hard time keeping up with all these bills.
I will not allow my family to suffer because Amoo's brother is incapable of taking care of himself. We couldn't afford to take care of him before he moved in and now we are so deep in the crappy river of debt that I don't know if we can make it out.
He doesn't see a problem with this. For some reason he thinks everyone on the planet exists to take care of his every need.
How can someone live like that?
I'm kind of a selfish person and can't imagine having all my comforts taken away just because I don't feel like getting up and going to work.
It's taken quite a while but I do have a work ethic now. The ethic is this: I go to work no matter what.
Do I want to? No. But I do it because I love money and all the things I can buy with it.
He loves money and all the things you can buy with it but he's not willing to put any effort into getting any.
It's sad really.
I do feel sorry for him, but this is the second time we've had to live with him and his poor pitiful me act gets old after the first year or so.
I'm not buying it anymore. And now that he's actually sick, he doesn't have anyone to turn to because he's never helped anyone out the way everyone helps him. And when they help him he makes it seem like he's doing them a favor by gracing them with his presence. He feels entitled to a place to live in your house and you should just sit there a feel flattered or something.
I really don't get it.
So,
I'm a spiteful woman who is so resentful that she's throwing out her uncle only months after he's had open heart surgery. (Well, he's got another six months.)
I'm going to hell.
But I'm still glad I did it.
Later
BD
Oct 25, 2010
Oct 15, 2010
The Revenge of Dumb Ass Friday
So... yesterday after the kids got off school we piled in the car and headed out to my cousin Ame's house for her daughter Apryl's birthday party.
I got lost a couple times but really, did you expect anything else from me? We got there at about 5:20... 20 minutes after the party was supposed to start. Apryl answered the door and seemed properly excited to see us.
Without thinking I just walked into her house, a place I've never been before, without asking and sat my happy ass down on her couch. Kale, of course, made himself comfy on the floor with his markers and coloring book while Phoenix started salivating over their video game collection.
Bill, Ame's husband was looking at me like I had just grown a second head, but having purple hair and tattoos all over my arms sometimes causes that and I'm used to it.
After chatting for a couple minutes I asked where Ame was and Apryl told me she was at the store getting cupcakes.
Then I asked if we were too early because no one else was there. Bill said, "For what?"
And I said, "For the birthday party."
Apryl said, "What did my mom tell you? The party isn't until Saturday."
Yes, I was hearing the sound of a braying jackass in the back of my head as I explained that I had thought it was on Thursday not Saturday. Phoenix used their bathroom and we beat a hasty retreat after giving Apryl her gift.
I could have waited around for Ame to get back but I was so embarrassed that I basically ran out of there with my tail tucked between my legs.
I am a dumb ass.
Then I got lost on the highway on the way back to our house and I ended up going way too far and landing in commerce city where Amoo works.
And I repeat, I AM A DUMB ASS!
So yeah... I'm retarded and I can't even read a simple birthday invitation.
Wow! I need some chocolate now.
Later
BD Wrong
I got lost a couple times but really, did you expect anything else from me? We got there at about 5:20... 20 minutes after the party was supposed to start. Apryl answered the door and seemed properly excited to see us.
Without thinking I just walked into her house, a place I've never been before, without asking and sat my happy ass down on her couch. Kale, of course, made himself comfy on the floor with his markers and coloring book while Phoenix started salivating over their video game collection.
Bill, Ame's husband was looking at me like I had just grown a second head, but having purple hair and tattoos all over my arms sometimes causes that and I'm used to it.
After chatting for a couple minutes I asked where Ame was and Apryl told me she was at the store getting cupcakes.
Then I asked if we were too early because no one else was there. Bill said, "For what?"
And I said, "For the birthday party."
Apryl said, "What did my mom tell you? The party isn't until Saturday."
Yes, I was hearing the sound of a braying jackass in the back of my head as I explained that I had thought it was on Thursday not Saturday. Phoenix used their bathroom and we beat a hasty retreat after giving Apryl her gift.
I could have waited around for Ame to get back but I was so embarrassed that I basically ran out of there with my tail tucked between my legs.
I am a dumb ass.
Then I got lost on the highway on the way back to our house and I ended up going way too far and landing in commerce city where Amoo works.
And I repeat, I AM A DUMB ASS!
So yeah... I'm retarded and I can't even read a simple birthday invitation.
Wow! I need some chocolate now.
Later
BD Wrong
Sep 28, 2010
Just Like Any Other Day...
I have almost reached the end of this day.
It happens to be Phoenix's birthday and I never thought I would want said day to end as much as I do now.
Why, you ask?
Weeeeeeeelllllll,
(get comfy, this isn't gonna be brief.)
Yesterday Amoo and I gathered at walmart to shop for Phoenix's birthday. We got a bunch of treats and little party favors to hand out to everyone in his class at school. The teacher begged me not to bring any form of cake so we got rice crispy treats. (the teacher thanked me later.)
We got him a prepaid phone for the biggest part of his present. We also got him a card with minutes for his phone, a t-shirt that said, "Vampires ate my homework" and Iron Man 2.
We got Kale the same shirt to soften the blow that Phoenix would be getting presents and he wouldn't. I worked all day yesterday and was busy afterward so I didn't get to the activation of his phone until today around 12:30.
After talking to several people from the company that manages the service for the phone I was ready to rip out my eyeballs and beat them over the head with the bloody stalks.
Ever seen the first Transformers movie?
There's a part where the army guys are in a foreign country fighting the decepticon" Scorpion" and they are trying to get a call through to the pentagon. They have to buy the phone call with a credit card and the soldier is trying to tell the operator that he's a little busy with the trying to stay alive business. The operator says, while picking his nose, "Sir, the attitude will not speed things up, not one little bit."
This is what my time on the phone with these people was like.
I kept reading the numbers to the lady and she would read them back to me, but they were always the wrong numbers.
For example: I would say, 639 and she would say, "See, tree, fie?"
I would say no and repeat the numbers but she would still repeat the wrong ones back to me. It went back and forth like that for a while until she transferred me to another operator who had an even thicker accent that I had an even harder time understanding.
After three transfers and four different operators it was determined that the phone we bought wasn't properly scanned by the cashier at walmart and, therefore, not eligible to be activated. It's how they keep people from stealing the phones and activating them.
I had to go to Phoenix's school at a certain time to hand out the treats so I didn't have his present wrapped and ready after school as we had originally planned. So I had to drop the boys off at home with Amoo and run to walmart to exchange the phone.
Amoo was waiting with Phoenix and Kale at home, and they knew I was bringing presents so I tried to hurry. Hurrying was not in the plan.
They're doing construction on 56th ave and the flaggers had all of traffic stopped for quite a long time to let all the construction vehicles leave the area.
I suppose it was a good thing. I wrapped Phoenix's present and put a bow on it while I waited. Yes, I actually had wrapping paper, tape, scissors, and ribbon with me in the car. If you know me then you know I have a slight obsession with wrapping gifts. But I have to say this was a first for me. How many people can say they wrapped a gift while in traffic and in the drivers seat?
I was running at warp speed all day and realized as I was driving home that I had forgotten to make anything for dinner. It being Phoenix's birthday this would obviously not do.
I stopped at McDonald's and picked up 50 chicken nuggets and two happy meal toys.
I was the hero for the day. Kale and Phoenix LOVE McDonald's and that, coupled with the presents for both boys made me look like the coolest person on the planet.
We had a cake, strawberry short cake (his favorite) and some ice cream, but we never got around to it because as soon as we were done eating Amoo had another surprise for Phoenix.
He turned 8 today and is now old enough to join the cub scouts at Amoo's church.
I was sceptical. I hear the word scout and I automatically think "club of dorks", but he really had fun. I love that he can hang out once a week with boys his own age and learn new, and potentially useful things.
The part I love the most about it is that he can get some kind of male guidance that his fatherless household cannot provide. He needs testosterone in his environment and this is a very good way to get it. Plus, I don't have to worry that the kids he's hanging out with will try to sell him drugs or teach him all about gang initiation.
It was another boy's birthday as well and everyone got cake at the end of the meeting. One lady in Amoo's ward even made a cake for Phoenix. I was touched.
Before the end of the meeting the kids got together in the gym to play some dodge ball. This is another thing I like about the scouts. Phoenix really needs physical exercise.
Unfortunately, Kale was very excited and wouldn't stop running around. He wasn't interfering with the game much. The problem was he has asthma and for some dumb ass reason, I took his inhaler out of the glove box in the car.
When they were done with the game the scouts went back into the relief society room to finish their meeting while I tried to get Kale to slow down his breathing. Kale is only 5 and is new to this asthma thing, so when he coughs he uses his voice and it sounds like he's screaming.
You have to hear it to really get the idea.
I had lost sight of Amoo and was looking all over the church for her and pulling along a child who was coughing so loud I'm sure everyone in the church, no neighborhood, heard it and wondered who was dying.
After exhausting all other options I tried sneaking a peak into the scout meeting. As soon as I opened the door Kale started scream-coughing non-stop. I apologized and snuck in to tell Amoo that I had to run home to get Kale's inhaler and that I would be back as soon as I possibly could.
There are two doors in the relief society room. I came in one door and left through the other so I could avoid walking through the scout master who was reciting some kind of speech when I barged in. Kale, who had stayed by the door, lost sight of me when I exited the room and freaked the fluck out.
He slammed the door as he ran into the hallway and yelled, "BRITT?! WHERE ARE YOU?"
Seriously, when have I ever left him alone or without telling him where I'm going? I tell this child when I'm taking a shower so he doesn't freak out about it and he still thinks I'm gonna disappear.
So yeah... If you're ever having an evening where you haven't been publicly embarrassed just invite my youngest son. He'll fix that right up for you.
By the time we got back to the church the meeting had ended and Amoo and Phoenix were waiting for us. Luckily we weren't the last ones to leave so I didn't feel too bad about deserting them.
It was 15 minutes till bedtime when we got home so I hurried the boys through a bath and shuffled them off to bed.
I am now soooooo happy that this day is over.
I love that Phoenix had a wonderful birthday but it sure took a lot of trouble to produce.
I'm gonna go to sleep now.
LaterBD
OH MY GOLLY GOSH!
When I finished this post I clicked the wrong button and didn't post it.
Sorry, this was supposed to post yesterday, on Phoenix's birthday. Now it's a day late.
I'm hearing that jackass noise in the back of my head.
It happens to be Phoenix's birthday and I never thought I would want said day to end as much as I do now.
Why, you ask?
Weeeeeeeelllllll,
(get comfy, this isn't gonna be brief.)
Yesterday Amoo and I gathered at walmart to shop for Phoenix's birthday. We got a bunch of treats and little party favors to hand out to everyone in his class at school. The teacher begged me not to bring any form of cake so we got rice crispy treats. (the teacher thanked me later.)
We got him a prepaid phone for the biggest part of his present. We also got him a card with minutes for his phone, a t-shirt that said, "Vampires ate my homework" and Iron Man 2.
We got Kale the same shirt to soften the blow that Phoenix would be getting presents and he wouldn't. I worked all day yesterday and was busy afterward so I didn't get to the activation of his phone until today around 12:30.
After talking to several people from the company that manages the service for the phone I was ready to rip out my eyeballs and beat them over the head with the bloody stalks.
Ever seen the first Transformers movie?
There's a part where the army guys are in a foreign country fighting the decepticon" Scorpion" and they are trying to get a call through to the pentagon. They have to buy the phone call with a credit card and the soldier is trying to tell the operator that he's a little busy with the trying to stay alive business. The operator says, while picking his nose, "Sir, the attitude will not speed things up, not one little bit."
This is what my time on the phone with these people was like.
I kept reading the numbers to the lady and she would read them back to me, but they were always the wrong numbers.
For example: I would say, 639 and she would say, "See, tree, fie?"
I would say no and repeat the numbers but she would still repeat the wrong ones back to me. It went back and forth like that for a while until she transferred me to another operator who had an even thicker accent that I had an even harder time understanding.
After three transfers and four different operators it was determined that the phone we bought wasn't properly scanned by the cashier at walmart and, therefore, not eligible to be activated. It's how they keep people from stealing the phones and activating them.
I had to go to Phoenix's school at a certain time to hand out the treats so I didn't have his present wrapped and ready after school as we had originally planned. So I had to drop the boys off at home with Amoo and run to walmart to exchange the phone.
Amoo was waiting with Phoenix and Kale at home, and they knew I was bringing presents so I tried to hurry. Hurrying was not in the plan.
They're doing construction on 56th ave and the flaggers had all of traffic stopped for quite a long time to let all the construction vehicles leave the area.
I suppose it was a good thing. I wrapped Phoenix's present and put a bow on it while I waited. Yes, I actually had wrapping paper, tape, scissors, and ribbon with me in the car. If you know me then you know I have a slight obsession with wrapping gifts. But I have to say this was a first for me. How many people can say they wrapped a gift while in traffic and in the drivers seat?
I was running at warp speed all day and realized as I was driving home that I had forgotten to make anything for dinner. It being Phoenix's birthday this would obviously not do.
I stopped at McDonald's and picked up 50 chicken nuggets and two happy meal toys.
I was the hero for the day. Kale and Phoenix LOVE McDonald's and that, coupled with the presents for both boys made me look like the coolest person on the planet.
We had a cake, strawberry short cake (his favorite) and some ice cream, but we never got around to it because as soon as we were done eating Amoo had another surprise for Phoenix.
He turned 8 today and is now old enough to join the cub scouts at Amoo's church.
I was sceptical. I hear the word scout and I automatically think "club of dorks", but he really had fun. I love that he can hang out once a week with boys his own age and learn new, and potentially useful things.
The part I love the most about it is that he can get some kind of male guidance that his fatherless household cannot provide. He needs testosterone in his environment and this is a very good way to get it. Plus, I don't have to worry that the kids he's hanging out with will try to sell him drugs or teach him all about gang initiation.
It was another boy's birthday as well and everyone got cake at the end of the meeting. One lady in Amoo's ward even made a cake for Phoenix. I was touched.
Before the end of the meeting the kids got together in the gym to play some dodge ball. This is another thing I like about the scouts. Phoenix really needs physical exercise.
Unfortunately, Kale was very excited and wouldn't stop running around. He wasn't interfering with the game much. The problem was he has asthma and for some dumb ass reason, I took his inhaler out of the glove box in the car.
When they were done with the game the scouts went back into the relief society room to finish their meeting while I tried to get Kale to slow down his breathing. Kale is only 5 and is new to this asthma thing, so when he coughs he uses his voice and it sounds like he's screaming.
You have to hear it to really get the idea.
I had lost sight of Amoo and was looking all over the church for her and pulling along a child who was coughing so loud I'm sure everyone in the church, no neighborhood, heard it and wondered who was dying.
After exhausting all other options I tried sneaking a peak into the scout meeting. As soon as I opened the door Kale started scream-coughing non-stop. I apologized and snuck in to tell Amoo that I had to run home to get Kale's inhaler and that I would be back as soon as I possibly could.
There are two doors in the relief society room. I came in one door and left through the other so I could avoid walking through the scout master who was reciting some kind of speech when I barged in. Kale, who had stayed by the door, lost sight of me when I exited the room and freaked the fluck out.
He slammed the door as he ran into the hallway and yelled, "BRITT?! WHERE ARE YOU?"
Seriously, when have I ever left him alone or without telling him where I'm going? I tell this child when I'm taking a shower so he doesn't freak out about it and he still thinks I'm gonna disappear.
So yeah... If you're ever having an evening where you haven't been publicly embarrassed just invite my youngest son. He'll fix that right up for you.
By the time we got back to the church the meeting had ended and Amoo and Phoenix were waiting for us. Luckily we weren't the last ones to leave so I didn't feel too bad about deserting them.
It was 15 minutes till bedtime when we got home so I hurried the boys through a bath and shuffled them off to bed.
I am now soooooo happy that this day is over.
I love that Phoenix had a wonderful birthday but it sure took a lot of trouble to produce.
I'm gonna go to sleep now.
LaterBD
OH MY GOLLY GOSH!
When I finished this post I clicked the wrong button and didn't post it.
Sorry, this was supposed to post yesterday, on Phoenix's birthday. Now it's a day late.
I'm hearing that jackass noise in the back of my head.
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